The Cheating Wife Syndrome

Something Lucretia MacEvil and I have encountered on numerous occasions when men contact her is what I like to call “The Cheating Wife Syndrome”.  What this is, is the idea that a woman that is cheating on her husband is a bigger turn-on to men than knowing that she has permission.

How this comes about is that usually (see this post for the “usually” part) we have a rule of I have to meet prospective boyfriends before Mrs. can play solo with them.  It’s a way of letting these guys know up front what the score is with us, and also because as a guy I know all the stupid guy games, just like my wife knows all the stupid girl games so she likes to know personally who I play with.  But, many guys get all freaked-out at the idea of meeting me.  Whether it’s because it’s the idea that she’s married and her having permission to have sex with others freaks them out, or it’s the “Cheating Wife Syndrome”. Which as a guy I think most other guys like.

Why? Because it’s an ego-rush.  It’s just like in porn where the husband can’t satisfy his wife so she calls in a stuntcock to take care of her carnal needs.  It’s a competition for many guys, and conquering someone else’s wife is a real “IN YOUR FACE, MAN!” to the husband.  It’s an “I won and I’m better than you” thing.  They want the sex, the ego-feed is just a bonus, something they can brag to their friends about how they banged this married woman because she needed his cock.

Knowing she has permission though takes the danger, the thrill, and the ego-stroke out of it all.  So when Mrs. suggests that we all meet, most of these guys go silent and stop chatting with her via email or IM.

Of course some really can’t wrap their mind around the whole open relationship thing.  They have been socially conditioned that monogamy is the way it is, and so is cheating.  But having sex outside of marriage and having permission to do it just does not compute.  So the thought of meeting a husband is just downright fucking scary.

But I think for the most part, many of these “cheating wife” guys are out for the thrill of the kill, and you can thank porn for this.  And the Internet.  Look at how many banner ads you see for “Find a cheating wife in your area tonight.”  The porn industry knows what men want, and they cater to it.

Some of these guys contact us through swingers sites, but most of the “Cheating Wife Syndrome” guys find LM through her Yahoo! profile and the like.  And the funny part is her Yahoo! profile doesn’t say anything about us having an open relationship.  It’s just a generic profile in the Yahoo! directory.  These guys just IM her and hope they can reel one in.

This is just one of those things you deal with when you have an open relationship.  You have to expect a certain amount of this kind of thing because so many just don’t get what the whole thing is about.  They think it’s about finding replacement sex because what you have at home is unsatisfying.  They don’t realize that it’s not replacement sex, it’s simply additional sex.  It’s not better, it’s just different.  It’s because we have a great relationship and an overflowing sex life and we share the extra with others.  But since porn does not depict it this way general society thinks it’s what they see in movies and on the Internet.  But maybe that’s because that is what sells.  A married woman that has permission is no fun.  A cheating woman is.

~ Lucius Scribbens

Bending the Rules

Recently I have taken a new lover.  Which is good because I lost a lover not long ago because he reunited with his ex… blah blah blah (see previous posts from Mr. Scribbens). Now normally Mr. Scribbens must meet and approve of all potential lovers before any play time is allowed. Also, I made it a rule a few years back NEVER to get involved with anyone at work.  So far I’m breaking two rules.  Mr. Scribbens has been kind enough to let these two things slide… and can I just say THANK YOU MR. SCRIBBENS!

The truth is I’ve been eying Mr. X for the past year. We would occasionally pass in the break area or casually say hello from time to time but nothing serious.  It wasn’t until recently went out on a break that he and I both were talking to a mutual contact and we realized we had a hobby in common, photography.

Well that’s when I moved in for the kill. Every time I saw him I’d strike up the conversation and ask when we were going to go out and take pictures.   After a week, he gave me his card. Cell Number included… Jackpot!  I texted and he texted back. Then he called me. I flirted a bit and dropped hints here and there all the while bringing up my love of photography.  I gave him my email address and waited.  He emailed that night expressing a curiosity if was interested in more than just a photography buddy. (DUH YA THINK?) I suggested we meet and see how things played out. I of course had to run it by the Mr. to get the green light.

I had the green light to proceed with caution. See how Mr. X would respond and respect my marriage. The night we met it was clear we would get along well and I decided to quit worrying and just have some fun! Lucky for me he has proven to be very private and trustworthy.  We both have jobs we like and don’t want to loose them. I’m not going to stalk him like the single girls do. He can have his freedom and fun with me, the best of both worlds.  It’s a win-win situation for us both!

He’s been nothing short of a gentleman. He knows my marriage situation and is cool with it. He’s no pressure. But the biggest thing for me is that he treats me with the same kindness he would if he were dating a single woman. He opens doors, orders sushi, hell he even lit candles and put on mood music and loaned me his robe. He knows that he is an escape from the day to day for me.  It’s these things that make a great playmate.  To me, well worth bending some rules.

~ Lucretia MacEvil