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Looking for something?A Harvard study has found that the reddest state in the nation, the state that many consider to be the most conservative, and one that constantly reminds everyone of it’s “family values” (like no one else has any but them) is also the largest consumer of subscription online pornography in the nation.  That’s right: Utah.

In fact, 8 of the top 10 states are “Red States”, predominantly Conservative Republican states with “conservative Christian values”.  The study concludes that those states that consume the most porn tend to be more conservative and religious than states with lower levels of consumption.

The two year study found that among broadband internet (cable, DSL, satellite, wireless high speed internet, etc.) users in Utah, 5.47 in 1,000 were buying online porn.

One “expert” has said that it is just the tip of the iceberg since the researcher only looked at AOL and MSN broadband records and the anonymous credit card purchases by zip code of a couple of online porn services, and there are hundreds porn services and broadband providers out there that weren’t included in the study.

The do-gooders in Utah have already come-out dismissing this as a Gentile problem (what Mormons call non-Mormons), implying that the 31% of Utahans that are not Mormon consume 100% of the porn.  However, the study doesn’t support that.  The study found that by zip code those areas with increased religious attendance on Sunday had corresponding decreases in porn consumption, but that increased consumption Monday through Saturday more than made-up the difference and put Utah in the lead.

What nobody is doing is calling a duck a duck.  They are skirting around the real issue: Sexual expression amongst sexually repressed people always finds an outlet, and usually not a healthy one.

Sex is as important to Human Beings as eating and breathing.  You need three things for life to continue in this world: You need to breathe, you need to eat and you need to have sex and procreate to ensure the continuation of any species of life on this planet, including humans.  Telling people they can’t have sex (or in any way trying to control how people have sex and when they have sex) is like telling people they can’t eat or breathe.  They will.  Every living fiber in their being tells them they have to, and 2,000 years of anti-sex propaganda can’t undo 200,000 years of biological programming.

Case in point: Catholic priests.  Catholic priests molesting alter boys and other boys in their congregation.  The Catholic Church played this off as a “gay” problem and vowed to better screen priesthood candidates to weed-out the homosexuals.  But these priests that molested alter boys were simply expressing their sexuality in the only way that was readily available to them, boys.  I contend that 99% of them are very heterosexual, but that these boys were the only outlet they had.  The same goes for the Boy Scout leaders who molest Boy Scouts.  They are easy prey for a sexually repressed, sexually frustrated man.  I say this because overall, girls are the victims of most sex crimes I the U.S., not boys.  Just in these instances boys are the most readily available outlet for that particular sex offender.

Think about this, how often are the words “I just can’t believe it.  He is an outstanding member of our church and just the nicest guy” (or some variant of that) spoken by a friend or neighbor when they are interviewed about some poor, “happily” married schmuck being arrested for molesting children?  It’s not openly gay men.  Boys are usually not the victims, either.  The majority of it is married heterosexual men that are out there preying on teenage and pre-pubescent girls.

Again, sexual expression amongst sexually repressed people always finds an outlet, and usually not a healthy one.

In my observations of porn usage the consumer usually falls into one of two categories: Those in sexually healthy relationships who have lots of sex, and good sex at that, who use porn on occasion as just another aspect of their sexuality together; and those that don’t have a healthy and abundant sex life that use porn as a replacement for what they don’t have.

The latter category uses porn to fulfill something that is missing in their life.  They may be in a committed relationship but feel unfulfilled sexually, so they use porn to fulfill what they aren’t getting with their partner.

As a guy I can say with pretty good authority that men in relationships look at porn that portrays sex acts they are interested in but that they cannot fulfill with their partner, or their partner won’t consider fulfilling for them.  This may range from any sex at all, to sex acts such as cumshots, threesomes, group sex, anal sex and many others.  Porn has evolved from mainstream penis-in-vagina to all sorts of niches.  Being successful in any business entails filling a need in the marketplace.  See a need, fill a need (no pun intended).  If the market for porn, and niche porn categories at that, wasn’t there the porn makers wouldn’t waste time and money making it.

But it is there.

There are enough men and some women out there that aren’t getting the amount of sex they need (though statistically men are the largest porn consumers), or of the type that turns them on, that porn has become the multi-billion dollar business it is today.

I feel that some of this also arises from supply and demand of willing partners.  If a woman is sexually unsatisfied at home it’s not too hard to find a willing man that will have sex with her, regardless of whether she is married or not.  However for men, especially married men, finding women willing to just have sex with them is a bit more difficult.  There just aren’t as many women out there willing to just get their rocks off with a married man as there are men out there willing to get their rocks off with a married woman.

So men turn to the next best outlet: The Internet and internet porn.

You see this all the time by the number of “single” men that are really married men cruising Craigslist and swingers dating sites for a quick hook-up; looking for an outlet for their sexual Self that their wife just doesn’t give them for one reason or another.

And the story is always the same: “I love my wife but she just doesn’t fulfill me sexually”.  Whether it’s the kind of sex that turns them on, the sexual variety they are looking for with her (she only does it in the missionary position) or simply enough sex, or any sex.

In her defense, she (and their relationship) was sabotaged from the beginning, from the time they were just children.  They are taught by conservative religious leaders and parents that sex outside of marriage is wrong, filthy and nasty and not enjoyable, but once you get married it will be okay and you’ll have better sex than those pre-marital sex heathens could possibly ever imagine.  You’ll have “soulgasms” with your spouse.

But the message that really sinks in is that sex “is wrong, filthy and nasty”.  You can’t put conditions on sexuality.  It is either good or bad. It was “bad” but now it’s “good”.  You can’t program a girl from the moment she’s born that if she has sex she’s a slut and like a used piece of bubblegum no one else will want you, but now that there’s a ring on your finger you’re not a slut and it’s all okay.

It’s not.  When sex is one of the biggest issues in divorce cases it just goes to show that many sexually incompatible people are getting married just to have sex and when it isn’t the “soulgasms” they were promised they are disillusioned and start looking for compatible sex, good sex, elsewhere: other people’s beds or internet porn.

Twenty-some years of programming just can’t be undone in the single moment a ring is slipped on her finger and the words “I do” are spoken.  Sex will always feel wrong and make her feel guilty, especially if she enjoys it.  In fact, enjoying it may just increase the guilt and confusion since it goes against everything she was told up to that moment.

And Utah is very politically conservative and very sexually conservative.  69% of young people are taught that sex is “wrong” outside of marriage (the bubblegum analogy above is a Mormon one).  I feel for this reason many young people get married just to have sex, so that they can justify their sexual longings and fight-off the guilt about it that has been browbeat into them from the day they were born.  They confuse being horny for someone with being in love with them.

I also think that this one of the big reasons marriages last five to seven years, because that’s how long it takes for the lust goggles to lose their rosy tint and real life to set-in (especially after children come along and sex is less frequent) and people wake-up one morning realizing that outside of having parts that fit together they would never had chosen to spend their life with this person were they not drunk on hormones at the time.

So Utahans (and other sexually repressed people) are getting married for sex, and when it isn’t all that it was cracked-up to be many of the men turn to porn to fulfill what is missing in their marriage; what they were promised they would have if they just walked the conservative, repressed straight-and-narrow.

That is why Utah and the other 7 conservative states in the top 10 are the largest consumers of paid porn in the nation.  That is the duck that everyone is saying isn’t a duck.

In short, those of us with happy, healthy sex lives aren’t looking at a lot of porn because we’re too busy having sex for real.

In my last post I mused aimlessly about the difference between the definitions of “Civil Union” and “Marriage”, and how with the support of Prop 8 certain churches would like to define “marriage” as a strictly religious union. Yet, at the same time they say they support Civil Unions, but Prop 8 (and others like it throughout the U.S.) even ban them.

My point being was that Civil Unions are performed by Civil Servants and have no connection whatsoever to religiously recognized unions.

Case in point.  My first wife and I were married in the Greek Orthodox Church.  However, when we split I did not seek the Church’s recognition of the divorce for the sole purpose of I really had no need to throw my ex-wife under the bus and confess her sins against me for their perverted purposes.  So in the eyes of the State we are divorced and I am now married to Lucretia MacEvil.  If the State did not believe we were really divorced they would not have allowed me to marry Lucretia.  In the eyes of the Greek Orthodox Church however, they do not recognize the State’s divorce and I am still married to my ex-wife, and because of this if I so desired to take communion I could not until I seek their recognition of the dissolution of my first marriage.

My mother did the same with her first marriage and to the day of her death she was refused Holy Communion by the Greek Orthodox Church.

So where is the line drawn?  Is a State recognized marriage simply a Civil Union and to be truly “married” you must be joined by a religious body of some kind?  Clearly, State recognized marriage is completely different than a religious-recognized marriage. Unless of course it is in the religion’s best interest to blur the line.  This “Government stay out of our business, but we’ll mingle in yours when it suits us” attitude is one of the real issues that should be addressed.  The Constitution protects a Church’s right from Government interference, but what protects the Government from Church’s interference?  Nothing.  Nice situation for the Church, eh?

The masses don’t understand the difference.  A church leader can perform marriages because as an ordained minister of any kind he is automatically given (in most states) the authority to also perform a State recognized union which entitles the couple to all the benefits given to a “married” couple.  A couple can get these same benefits being married by a judge, a county clerk, a justice of the peace, etc.  The only difference?  The union is not recognized “in the eyes of the Lord” by the opinion of the Church of Whatever.

Great. They don’t have to recognize it or give the couple who don’t prescribe to that religion any benefits bestowed upon a “married” couple within that particular church.  So why are We The People allowing churches to dictate who of other faiths — or no faith — can be joined in a State and Federally recognized union and who can’t?

Why? Fear. The LDS Church was telling it’s faithful that should Prop 8 pass in California that it could force the LDS Church to perform same-sex marriages.  Now nothing could be further from the truth.  The government doesn’t have that authority or even anything that resembles it.  But, people are lazy. It’s easier to believe what you are told rather than actually research it for yourself and find-out if you’ve been lied to (hence the need for sites like Snopes.com, eh?). But the Mormon faithful, and flurry of fear, donated time and money in a Church organized manner to promote the passing of a law that won’t effect a single member of the LDS Church in a negative manner.  But it was the fear that it could in some undefined way that caused these people to do as they were informed, not as they personally felt.  At the minimum the allowed how they felt to be determined by what they were told without any real introspection into what they really feel about the subject.

Besides, in Utah thinking differently than the “majority” is frowned upon.  Politicians use slogans such as “I stand for Utah values” to get elected.  And those values are what?  Hmmm… Wait, I’m sure someone will tell me what my values should be.  Just give it a minute.

So there we have it.  My rant-and-roll for today.

~ Lucius Q. Scribbens

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