I was sitting at a stoplight today and a newer Dodge Ram 1500 pickup made a left hand turn in front of me. What caught my attention was that this truck was a 2-door pickup – no extended cab or 4-doors – because I really haven’t see a 2-door truck with no back seat in quite a while. Almost all trucks these days have at least a half-door and a back seat, and most have four doors.
As the truck passed I thought to myself: “Why the fuck would you buy a 2-door truck, and especially one with no back seat? That is so 1980’s.”
But then I stopped myself and realized that I was basing this on MY needs and MY ideas of what kind of a truck I need for MY life. With a family of five a 2-door truck with no back seat is just not practical. I need SUV room in the passenger compartment with a bed to haul stuff in. But this truck might have been just perfect for this guy; a 2-door, no back seat having truck might be just what HE wanted.
Then I thought: “Wow, it’s kind of like how people judge others relationships.”
We judge others relationship styles based on our own. Our is right for us, therefore it must be right for everyone else. I mean, why would anyone not want to have a relationship JUST LIKE MINE? Mine is fantastic!
But what we don’t realize is that our relationship style is right for ourselves, just like for me a 4-door pickup with a big back seat is just right for me. But, that doesn’t mean everyone wants the same truck I do. For others, a 2-door pickup with just enough room for two might be just right. And they probably can’t understand why I want a 4-door and want to have more than one other person with me.
Monogamists look at open relationships and polyamory and can’t figure-out why we want more than one other person in our truck life. And polyamorists, swingers and others with open relationships can’t understand how monogamists can be happy without more people in their truck life.
The point being that what works for one person doesn’t work for another. It doesn’t mean that their way, or your way is wrong, it just means they are right for that person. They are different but equally valid.
Something to think about the next time you see someone that’s not just like yourself and wonder why they aren’t.