I’ve been meaning to write a post for quite a while now about a situation Mrs. Scribbens and I have encountered in the past few months, but it took me so long to write it that it’s completely changed, litterally made a 180 degree turn on us. So here it is in today’s context.
Last winter Mrs. Scribbens and I were looking for a boy-toy for her. Someone that we could have threesomes with and also someone she could see, and would want to see, on her own. Basically someone that could fulfill the boyfriend status, someone that she could hang-out with to get away from life for awhile and someone that would also be friends with both of us. Not necessarily looking for a romantic loving relationship, but at least one that consisted of being good friends and fuck-buddies.
We did meet such a guy. We’ll call him D. He was a great guy all around. Newly single, late 30’s, mature, small business owner, grown kids, intelligent, funny and to boot, somone who really dug Mrs. Scribbens and really knew how to get her off. On top of that he and I got along famously and we all could go out and have a great time.
Our relationship carried-on for about five months. We would go out to parties together, tantric sex workshops, dinner, operas, etc., and he wasn’t shy about being naked and aroused around another man and therefore didn’t have any issues about having threesomes (which is a subject I’ll tackle in another post sometime). He even threw Mrs. Scribbens a banging birthday party.
Then came the event that I was originally going to write about. One day after Mrs. Scribbens and he were lying in bed after playing he professed his romantic feelings for her. Then a week later while in another city, in another state, D was run over by a car in a hit-and-run accident while crossing a street. He was in intensive care in a hospital hundreds of miles from home for several months with broken bones, barely functioning internal organs, crushed face and pelvis and possible permanent brain injury. His family, who knew nothing about us or his private life as well as his ex-wife went to be with him.
We could not go. First, we really couldn’t afford the trip and all we’d see is him in a coma in ICU. Second, with his whole family there it would raise questions why “just friends” traveled several states away to see him in a coma in a hospital. So we just sent a get well card as friends. A week or so later we received a call from one of his siblings because they had shown him the card and he had responded positively to it. So they had found Mrs. Scribbens phone number in his cell phone and called her to update her about his condition and the fact that he wanted them to call us. From there we stayed in contact with his family to get regular updates on his condition.
Several weeks ago he was well enough to travel back to his home city where he spent time in a rehab center before being released to go home. He’s settled in a bit now so Mrs. Scribbens sent him a text message inquiring about how he was doing and he called her back but did not leave her a voicemail. So last night I send D a text message asking if he’d be up for some visitors this weekend, maybe watch a ball game on TV and just hang-out together (obviously anything sexual at this point is still out of the question). He responded that it wouldn’t be a good idea because he had family staying with him and his ex-wife would be there. Okay, no big deal. I responded that if he needed anything to call us. This morning I get a text message from him saying that he and his ex are back together, “I’m done”, and he thanks us for everything and in short, to not contact him again.
So originally the concept of this post was supposed to be dealing with the illness of someone you care about, but not being able to “be there” for them because of the nature of your relationship and their family simply wouldn’t understand and things could get very ugly for them… and possibly us if they were vindictive and wanted to pubically out us to those that don’t have any business in our private lives. Instead it’s turned into a “What the fuck just happened?!” scenario.
Of course Mrs. Scribbens first reaction was “I feel so used” and “Why the hell would he do that?” But thinking about it, given the traumatic events it makes sense that his ex-wife would suddenly love him again and he would need that affection. So it is something that observed from 20,000 feet you would have seen coming. Will it last with them? We hope it does and that he is happy. But we have our suspicions that once he recovers fully and life returns to “normal”, the same shit that lead them to break-up in the first place will surface again. They haven’t changed. They are still the same people that each other couldn’t stand to be in the same room with a year ago. Just the situation has changed. So we’ll see what happens when the situation turns back to one of previous normal day-to-day life for them. Of course, we won’t be there for him this time.