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Again recently I have had to sit back and think to myself why many monogamists think as they do.  Try to understand what make them tick and what makes them think I am weird or “wrong” and their way is normal or “right”.  What happened to make me ruminate like this was a woman.  Yes, the thing that makes many men think for a moment, touch themselves, then turn-on SPEED Network to watch monster trucks.  But what really got me today was a woman I know who is a single mom of three, works two jobs and who I’ve been good friends with for months now, told me that I “need to take a step back because all this was just getting to weird.”

Now she knows that I’m in an open relationship.  We’ve also talked of our mutual attraction and that as other women have said:  she’d love to have a relationship with me, but she’d just be putting time into someone else’s husband.  Which I can respect if getting married is the be-all-end-all of her existence right now.   So all this is nothing of a surprise.

So what spurred that response from her?  Lucretia MacEvil invited her to dinner, with her children, since her middle daughter is the same age as our youngest daughter and they would probably get along fabulously.  To her, this just seemed too strange.  The wife of a man who she’s attracted to is inviting her to break bread with her, not kill her.  She really couldn’t wrap her brain around that.  In fact she even said to me: “Doesn’t that just seem a bit strange to you?  To normal people it is.”

What seems strange to me though, is that for over a year she was dating a married man who was cheating on his wife, and one of her children is the result of that relationship.  Of course, he never left his wife and has no contact with her, or his child today.

So dating a married man who is cheating on his wife is not weird, however dating a married man who is honest with his wife and who’s wife would like to meet her and feed her and get to know her because her husband likes her, is weird.

Dating a cheating husband: Good

Dating a husband in an open and honest relationship: Bad

As mentioned in an earlier post, we’ve seen this with men, too.  Many men want to have something with Lucretia, however they don’t want to meet me, her husband.

Fucking a married, cheating woman: Good

Fucking a married woman with her husband’s permission and knowledge: Just fucking freaky

So to many monogamists cheating is “normal” whereas honesty is not.  Or at least that is how it seems.  Cheating is expected, if not acceptable, but an honest open relationship is not.  It’s okay to have sex with other people besides your spouse as long as your spouse doesn’t know about it, but it’s just wrong to do it if your spouse knows about it and consents willingly to it.  Of course they will tell you that’s not the case, that they don’t approve of it, but the numbers that do it (by all reasonable estimates 50% to 70% of all marriages experience cheating) show that their actions in no way support their words.

Just another reason why it’s very difficult, if not downright impossible to make a monogamist into a polyamorist.

BoyButter16OzTubIt all started with a tweet. A tweet about boy butter. Now, my first thought was boy butter was just like man chowder, but I was quickly set straight by several of my Twitter followers that informed me that boy butter is indeed Boy Butter, the personal lubricant. Then, the good folks at Va Va Voom offered me a tub of it to test and give my opinion on. Now being a huge anal sex fan I was more than happy to oblige.

When I received the sample Boy Butter from Va Va Voom I was immediately smitten with the packaging: it looks just like a tub of your favorite margarine. The packaging alone had me and I couldn’t wait to try it out. But first, some Internet research on Boy Butter’s website. I had to make sure what I was smearing on my member was member-worthy.

I discovered not only the history of Boy Butter from it’s humble origins in 2002, but that the original Boy Butter with which I was provided, is made from simple ingredients and is mostly natural: coconut oil, organic silicone (as used in hair detanglers) and a couple other ingredients to give it it’s creaminess. It’s all whipped together and is much like whipped margarine.

Because Original Boy Butter does have coconut oil in it, it isn’t safe for use with latex condoms, so only use the Original formula with someone you are fluid-bonded with and know for sure is safe and clean. Boy Butter has also come-out with Boy Butter H2O: You’ll Never Know It’s Not Boy Butter, which is reported to be the first cream lubricant that is both water-based and condom safe. Get some of that also for those adventuresome times when you’re getting some strange.

Personally I like lubes, for stimulation that is either too dry or too vigorous without lubricant will leave me very sore the next day. So a good lube is usually part of my regular play with partners, anyway.

First-up was a solo test because, well… I wanted to try it right now, and there wasn’t any available partners to be had at that moment. However, at first getting into the tub was a bit confusing for a horny guy like me since with every margarine tub I’ve ever opened the lid pulls-off. Not so with Boy Butter, it looks like a margarine tub, but the top screws-off (mental Post-IT Note: remember this in the heat of the moment, too). Well, I got it to pull-off anyway. Silly me. I’d never used cream lubricants before, and with the first dip of my fingers I immediately liked the feel. Smeared all over my cock was even better. The slickness of Boy Butter is fantastic and I had quite a good time with myself.

Next-up was getting a hand job by a willing assistant. Worked fantastic with someone else controlling the action too. By now I was sold on cream lubricants in general and Boy Butter in particular.

Now to find a willing partner to A) let me test it on her, and B) let me write about it for the whole world to see. A few phone calls to some girlfriends later and I was in business. My lady friend was not an anal virgin, however had never really enjoyed anal with anyone she’d had it with, so it was a bit of a stretch for her to say “yes”, but I think she was more saying “yes” to being with me, regardless of the events. So it was a date.

Because of bad past experiences we took things even extra slowly, lubing-up her ass with a good glob of Boy Butter and not attempting to insert my penis until she was comfortable with having two fingers in her ass. Amazingly, with Boy Butter is was only minutes before I had three fingers in her and she was thoroughly enjoying it. So we went for it, lubing-up my cock with some more Boy Butter and with just a little pressure and a slight sigh from her lips, I was in, slowly stroking back and forth and she was in no discomfort whatsoever. Here I discovered another nice quality of Boy Butter: besides being very slick, Boy Butter doesn’t dry-up quickly like other lubricants, making for more comfortable sex and little chance of having a break in the action to add more lube.

And then it happened… she came. Yes, the woman who at first was very timid and unsure about anal, came. She was as surprised as I was, and downright giddy. After a short rest we went at it a second time and when all was said and done, we both had an incredible time.

After we cleaned-up we laid there and talked about how she like anal sex and most importantly the Boy Butter lubricant. She said she had an incredible time and that the Boy Butter cream lubricant was so slick that there was very virtually no discomfort and most importantly to me, she wants to add anal as a regular part of our playtime now. Lucky me.

Which brings me to another fantastic thing about Boy Butter: clean-up. Unlike many other lubes I’ve tried, Boy Butter washes off of both skin and fabric with water alone, which makes cleaning-up after sex not only a breeze, but you don’t have to worry about staining those fancy sheets you put on the bed to impress your lover. And to make things even better, Boy Butter is priced better than most other lubricants, which is a consideration if you want to get laid in today’s economic climate and not go broke doing it.

I highly recommend Boy Butter to both anal veterans and anal virgins alike. Especially to anal virgins. You’re first time could make or break it forever more, so make it a good experience the first time.

To get some of your own, visit my friends over at Va Va Voom. They’ll take good care of you.

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