How can I convince my partner to have a threesome or to swing? This is a question you see allot of, simply because many people have group sex fantasies but are in relationships where their partner either doesn’t share the fantasy or is totally unreceptive to hearing anything about their partner’s sexual fantasies because of personal insecurities and jealousy. So I thought I’d address it in this post.
The fact is you can’t convince, coerce or manipulate anyone into doing something they don’t want to do without making them resent you and screw-up your relationship with them. All you can do is in a non-threatening manner express to them that this is one of your sexual fantasies and see where it goes from there. If they say it’s not theirs, than out of respect for them you have to drop the subject. If they say they’ve been thinking the same thing, than you can carry the conversation on further and talk about what it is about it that turns each of you on and what you’d like to do and what both of you are looking to get out of it.
Remember, if it doesn’t benefit the couple, it harms the couple. Opening-up your relationship sexually has to be a two-way street where both of you are getting something positive from the experience. If not, than you simply shouldn’t venture there. Every time you hear someone say “I tried this and it ruined our relationship” or “I have some friends that did this and now they are broken-up” that was the reason why. It wasn’t both of their fantasy, it was just one of theirs. And that person convinced, coerced or manipulated their partner into do it.
Those couples who are secure in themselves and thus their relationship and therefore aren’t prone to jealousy and share the same group sex fantasies have a wonderful time at including others in their sex life. Those that aren’t, don’t.