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BoyButter16OzTubIt all started with a tweet. A tweet about boy butter. Now, my first thought was boy butter was just like man chowder, but I was quickly set straight by several of my Twitter followers that informed me that boy butter is indeed Boy Butter, the personal lubricant. Then, the good folks at Va Va Voom offered me a tub of it to test and give my opinion on. Now being a huge anal sex fan I was more than happy to oblige.

When I received the sample Boy Butter from Va Va Voom I was immediately smitten with the packaging: it looks just like a tub of your favorite margarine. The packaging alone had me and I couldn’t wait to try it out. But first, some Internet research on Boy Butter’s website. I had to make sure what I was smearing on my member was member-worthy.

I discovered not only the history of Boy Butter from it’s humble origins in 2002, but that the original Boy Butter with which I was provided, is made from simple ingredients and is mostly natural: coconut oil, organic silicone (as used in hair detanglers) and a couple other ingredients to give it it’s creaminess. It’s all whipped together and is much like whipped margarine.

Because Original Boy Butter does have coconut oil in it, it isn’t safe for use with latex condoms, so only use the Original formula with someone you are fluid-bonded with and know for sure is safe and clean. Boy Butter has also come-out with Boy Butter H2O: You’ll Never Know It’s Not Boy Butter, which is reported to be the first cream lubricant that is both water-based and condom safe. Get some of that also for those adventuresome times when you’re getting some strange.

Personally I like lubes, for stimulation that is either too dry or too vigorous without lubricant will leave me very sore the next day. So a good lube is usually part of my regular play with partners, anyway.

First-up was a solo test because, well… I wanted to try it right now, and there wasn’t any available partners to be had at that moment. However, at first getting into the tub was a bit confusing for a horny guy like me since with every margarine tub I’ve ever opened the lid pulls-off. Not so with Boy Butter, it looks like a margarine tub, but the top screws-off (mental Post-IT Note: remember this in the heat of the moment, too). Well, I got it to pull-off anyway. Silly me. I’d never used cream lubricants before, and with the first dip of my fingers I immediately liked the feel. Smeared all over my cock was even better. The slickness of Boy Butter is fantastic and I had quite a good time with myself.

Next-up was getting a hand job by a willing assistant. Worked fantastic with someone else controlling the action too. By now I was sold on cream lubricants in general and Boy Butter in particular.

Now to find a willing partner to A) let me test it on her, and B) let me write about it for the whole world to see. A few phone calls to some girlfriends later and I was in business. My lady friend was not an anal virgin, however had never really enjoyed anal with anyone she’d had it with, so it was a bit of a stretch for her to say “yes”, but I think she was more saying “yes” to being with me, regardless of the events. So it was a date.

Because of bad past experiences we took things even extra slowly, lubing-up her ass with a good glob of Boy Butter and not attempting to insert my penis until she was comfortable with having two fingers in her ass. Amazingly, with Boy Butter is was only minutes before I had three fingers in her and she was thoroughly enjoying it. So we went for it, lubing-up my cock with some more Boy Butter and with just a little pressure and a slight sigh from her lips, I was in, slowly stroking back and forth and she was in no discomfort whatsoever. Here I discovered another nice quality of Boy Butter: besides being very slick, Boy Butter doesn’t dry-up quickly like other lubricants, making for more comfortable sex and little chance of having a break in the action to add more lube.

And then it happened… she came. Yes, the woman who at first was very timid and unsure about anal, came. She was as surprised as I was, and downright giddy. After a short rest we went at it a second time and when all was said and done, we both had an incredible time.

After we cleaned-up we laid there and talked about how she like anal sex and most importantly the Boy Butter lubricant. She said she had an incredible time and that the Boy Butter cream lubricant was so slick that there was very virtually no discomfort and most importantly to me, she wants to add anal as a regular part of our playtime now. Lucky me.

Which brings me to another fantastic thing about Boy Butter: clean-up. Unlike many other lubes I’ve tried, Boy Butter washes off of both skin and fabric with water alone, which makes cleaning-up after sex not only a breeze, but you don’t have to worry about staining those fancy sheets you put on the bed to impress your lover. And to make things even better, Boy Butter is priced better than most other lubricants, which is a consideration if you want to get laid in today’s economic climate and not go broke doing it.

I highly recommend Boy Butter to both anal veterans and anal virgins alike. Especially to anal virgins. You’re first time could make or break it forever more, so make it a good experience the first time.

To get some of your own, visit my friends over at Va Va Voom. They’ll take good care of you.

I get such a chuckle out of all those Cosmopolitan magazine articles on “What Your Man Really Thinks” and “What Really Turns Your Man On”.  As I read these things I ask myself: Did they really ask any men about this? Or did a bunch of women just sit around the conference room at Cosmo and and write down things they want to hear from their men? Or did they ask a bunch of pansy-men?

So in response to this I’ve written with some help from friends, both male and female, a list of 15 things men really want to hear from their wife/girlfriend.  Add any you can think of in the comments.

  1. “Do you want to fuck me in the ass tonight?”
  2. “I hope you don’t mind if I swallow?  I don’t want to break your rhythm when you’re about to cum.”
  3. “Please don’t make me eat at Sizzler and see a movie.  Can’t I just have some cock instead?”
  4. “Can we just fuck with the lights on?  I love it when you stare at my cellulite.”
  5. “Oh my god that’s gargantuan!  You’re going to stick that where?!”
  6. “Yes, I would love it if my best friend sucked your cock.”
  7. “I don’t care if we’re lost, I just love your sense of adventurism.”
  8. “Your ex-wife is so hot!  Can we have a threesome with her?”
  9. “My hot sister with the boob job wants to have a threesome with us.  Are you down with that?”
  10. “I don’t care what time you get home, just be sure to wake me up when you do so that we can fuck.”
  11. “Hey guess what?! Your cum is part of my Weight Watcher plan!”
  12. “Go ahead and watch the game and I’ll go make you some chocolate chip cookies.  And how about a blowjob at half-time?”
  13. “Don’t worry about getting me off, you just make sure you’re happy.”
  14. “It’s that time of month, but I’d love to give you a blowjob.”
  15. “You don’t have to stay here just because we had sex.  Go ahead and go to the strip club with your friends.  Here’s $100 to spend on the strippers.”
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