I am on one today. I’m on MySpace and there all all these “Sponsored Links” for finding someone to cheat on your significant other with. Every once in a while this kind of stuff gets me going. The way general society treats cheating as “normal” but having a relationship where you are honest with your significant other and you’re sexually open, emotionally open, or both as “abnormal”.
I see this when I rummage around Yahoo! Answers. Those that are not only opposed to open relationships, but go out of their way to say cruel things to the question asker when the topic of an open relationship (threesomes, swinging, polyamory, etc.) are brought-up. Yet, you can take 10 of those people and statistically know that about 4 of them have, are, or will cheat on their significant other. And at least 4 of them could be currently being cheated on because of their prudish attitudes toward sex and their partner’s dissatisfaction with their sex life yet think they are in a monogamous relationship.
Society accepts cheating, to the point where helping people do so has become profitable and ethical enough that mediums like MySpace and radio accept money for their advertising. Stuff like this:
LonelyHousewives.com: Married Women Dating — Find Married Women Who Want a Date. View Profiles 100% Free. Join Now!
AshleyMadison.com Life is short. Have an affair.
AdultFriendFinder.com: Find a married woman to fuck in your area tonight.
MeetaWife.net: Unhappily Married Women Seeking a Male Buddy. Join Free & Browse!
HousewivesMatch.com: Meet Lonely Housewives –Search 1000s of Local Ads. Join Now
MarriedFlirtation.com: Meet married women for casual encounters
It’s funny, MySpace will delete your profile if you openly advertise you are a “swinger” or some other form of adult open relationship, yet they’ll allow sponsored links for online cheating services. I guess money talks louder than ethics, and people don’t pay money to have profiles on MySpace, but advertisers do pay.
I think the common link here though is all these ads are aimed at men. Do a Google search for “Cheating Men” or “Cheating Husband” and you get a whole different set of results. Instead of the links being about finding someone to cheat with, the links are all about how to catch a cheating husband, because society loves the story of a wronged woman.
I digress though. That is probably another post in itself.
The point here being that cheating is considered by general society as being a part of life, a part of being in a relationship. But being honest and open about needing more than what just one person can provide emotionally, physically, etc., is taboo and alternative, and in the eyes of most: just dirty and wrong.
People will say things like “Did you know so-and-so is cheating on their partner?” and that’s about the end of the conversation. If the conversation starts with “I heard so-and-so are swingers.” it’s a whole different story though.
For instance, I doubt almost anybody in the private sector has lost a job because they were cheating on their spouse, unless of course it was with someone they worked with and it caused a workplace problem (hell, even my ex-wife or her lover didn’t get fired from that). But plenty have been fired for being swingers or being in polyamorous relationships.
I was thinking about this as I was on Facebook. Facebook comes-up almost first on a Google search for my name. So if I join a facebook group supporting GLBT issues or polyamory or open relationships of any type I could in theory prevent myself from getting a new job if some HR person does a quick Google search on me and they don’t agree with my politics, religion or lifestyle.
Kind of scary stuff when society will scorn you for having an honest relationship where you are allowed to enjoy the company of other people, yet will financially reward companies that promote dishonesty and cheating on your significant other.