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Tag Archives: cheating wife

I am on one today.  I’m on MySpace and there all all these “Sponsored Links” for finding someone to cheat on your significant other with.  Every once in a while this kind of stuff gets me going.  The way general society treats cheating as “normal” but having a relationship where you are honest with your significant other and you’re sexually open, emotionally open, or both as “abnormal”.

I see this when I rummage around Yahoo! Answers.  Those that are not only opposed to open relationships, but go out of their way to say cruel things to the question asker when the topic of an open relationship (threesomes, swinging, polyamory, etc.) are brought-up.  Yet, you can take 10 of those people and statistically know that about 4 of them have, are, or will cheat on their significant other.  And at least 4 of them could be currently being cheated on because of their prudish attitudes toward sex and their partner’s dissatisfaction with their sex life yet think they are in a monogamous relationship.

Society  accepts cheating, to the point where helping people do so has become profitable and ethical enough that mediums like MySpace and radio accept money for their advertising.  Stuff like this:

LonelyHousewives.com: Married Women DatingFind Married Women Who Want a Date. View Profiles 100% Free. Join Now!

AshleyMadison.com Life is short. Have an affair.

AdultFriendFinder.com: Find a married woman to fuck in your area tonight.

MeetaWife.net: Unhappily Married Women Seeking a Male Buddy. Join Free & Browse!

MarriedButPlaying.com

HousewivesMatch.com: Meet Lonely Housewives –Search 1000s of Local Ads. Join Now

MarriedFlirtation.com: Meet married women for casual encounters

And more.

It’s funny, MySpace will delete your profile if you openly advertise you are a “swinger” or some other form of adult open relationship, yet they’ll allow sponsored links for online cheating services.  I guess money talks louder than ethics, and people don’t pay money to have profiles on MySpace, but advertisers do pay.

I think the common link here though is all these ads are aimed at men.  Do a Google search for “Cheating Men” or “Cheating Husband” and you get a whole different set of results.  Instead of the links being about finding someone to cheat with, the links are all about how to catch a cheating husband, because society loves the story of a wronged woman.

I digress though.  That is probably another post in itself.

The point here being that cheating is considered by general society as being a part of life, a part of being in a relationship.  But being honest and open about needing more than what just one person can provide emotionally, physically, etc., is taboo and alternative, and in the eyes of most: just dirty and wrong.

People will say things like “Did you know so-and-so is cheating on their partner?” and that’s about the end of the conversation.  If the conversation starts with “I heard so-and-so are swingers.” it’s a whole different story though.

For instance, I doubt almost anybody in the private sector has lost a job because they were cheating on their spouse, unless of course it was with someone they worked with and it caused a workplace problem (hell, even my ex-wife or her lover didn’t get fired from that).  But plenty have been fired for being swingers or being in polyamorous relationships.

I was thinking about this as I was on Facebook.  Facebook comes-up almost first on a Google search for my name.  So if I join a facebook group supporting GLBT issues or polyamory or open relationships of any type I could in theory prevent myself from getting a new job if some HR person does a quick Google search on me and they don’t agree with my politics, religion or lifestyle.

Kind of scary stuff when society will scorn you for having an honest relationship where you are allowed to enjoy the company of other people, yet will financially reward companies that promote dishonesty and cheating on your significant other.

Something Lucretia MacEvil and I have encountered on numerous occasions when men contact her is what I like to call “The Cheating Wife Syndrome”.  What this is, is the idea that a woman that is cheating on her husband is a bigger turn-on to men than knowing that she has permission.

How this comes about is that usually (see this post for the “usually” part) we have a rule of I have to meet prospective boyfriends before Mrs. can play solo with them.  It’s a way of letting these guys know up front what the score is with us, and also because as a guy I know all the stupid guy games, just like my wife knows all the stupid girl games so she likes to know personally who I play with.  But, many guys get all freaked-out at the idea of meeting me.  Whether it’s because it’s the idea that she’s married and her having permission to have sex with others freaks them out, or it’s the “Cheating Wife Syndrome”. Which as a guy I think most other guys like.

Why? Because it’s an ego-rush.  It’s just like in porn where the husband can’t satisfy his wife so she calls in a stuntcock to take care of her carnal needs.  It’s a competition for many guys, and conquering someone else’s wife is a real “IN YOUR FACE, MAN!” to the husband.  It’s an “I won and I’m better than you” thing.  They want the sex, the ego-feed is just a bonus, something they can brag to their friends about how they banged this married woman because she needed his cock.

Knowing she has permission though takes the danger, the thrill, and the ego-stroke out of it all.  So when Mrs. suggests that we all meet, most of these guys go silent and stop chatting with her via email or IM.

Of course some really can’t wrap their mind around the whole open relationship thing.  They have been socially conditioned that monogamy is the way it is, and so is cheating.  But having sex outside of marriage and having permission to do it just does not compute.  So the thought of meeting a husband is just downright fucking scary.

But I think for the most part, many of these “cheating wife” guys are out for the thrill of the kill, and you can thank porn for this.  And the Internet.  Look at how many banner ads you see for “Find a cheating wife in your area tonight.”  The porn industry knows what men want, and they cater to it.

Some of these guys contact us through swingers sites, but most of the “Cheating Wife Syndrome” guys find LM through her Yahoo! profile and the like.  And the funny part is her Yahoo! profile doesn’t say anything about us having an open relationship.  It’s just a generic profile in the Yahoo! directory.  These guys just IM her and hope they can reel one in.

This is just one of those things you deal with when you have an open relationship.  You have to expect a certain amount of this kind of thing because so many just don’t get what the whole thing is about.  They think it’s about finding replacement sex because what you have at home is unsatisfying.  They don’t realize that it’s not replacement sex, it’s simply additional sex.  It’s not better, it’s just different.  It’s because we have a great relationship and an overflowing sex life and we share the extra with others.  But since porn does not depict it this way general society thinks it’s what they see in movies and on the Internet.  But maybe that’s because that is what sells.  A married woman that has permission is no fun.  A cheating woman is.

~ Lucius Scribbens

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