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Sometimes it’s hard being a guy. I’m not trying to sound like a martyr, what I mean by that is it seems more difficult for a guy in a committed relationship to find a playmate than is it a woman.  For instance, most men have no problems fucking a married woman (unless her husband knows about it, another phenomenon I’ll write about later), but many women shy away from hooking-up with a married man.  This may be a generalizing it a bit, but overall I think it is shown women generally hook-up for different reasons than men.

Most men want to get laid.  Plain and simple.  They produce a full load of semen and can impregnate a woman every 24 hours or less.  Nature begs men to do so and thus they spend allot of time trying to get laid.  Whether it’s for pleasure or procreation, that’s what we do.  I personally think it’s the subconscious need to procreate, but it expresses itself as seeking pleasure.

Women on the other hand have more to lose, or at least more invested in a possible coupling.  Sure nature may be telling her to have a baby, even on a subconscious level, but that is the exact reason she is more selective of who she has sex with, when she has sex, and why she has sex.  She’s the one that has to carry a child for 9 months and raise it.  Sometimes alone.

So in a nutshell, most men are looking to get-off and many women are looking for a relationship, or at least something that could turn into a relationship.  Therefore a married woman is simply another chance to get laid without any responsibility for her afterward.  Fuck her and send her home to her husband.  Women on the other hand for the most part aren’t looking for married men because there is no future with them.  Sure, he may have an open relationship and is fair game, but at the end of the night he’s still going home to his wife and she’ll still be alone.  Which is exactly what many men are looking for: a great fuck then back to his own selfish activities.

I say this now because looking back over the past year Mrs. Scribbens (Lucrecia MacEvil) has had many solo escapades with several single men, while I’ve had one with a single woman.  And that was 10 months ago.  Not for lack of trying, but simply for lack of prospects. It’s always the same story: “You’re married and nothing could ever come of this.” Or some variation of that.  A woman that has had threesomes with Mrs. Scribbens and I recently told her she’d love to be my girlfriend, but “I’d get to attached and at the end of the day I’d still be alone and he’d be with you.”

There’s no shortage of willing men lining-up to have sex with Mrs. Scribbens, and there are plenty of women that tell Mrs. Scribbens and I they’d love to have sex with me, but… (see the above paragraph for what comes next)

It almost seems that if I was cheating on Mrs. Scribbens I’d have an easier time of it because the parameters of the relationship would be defined.  Maybe in an open relationship such as swinging or polyamory the truth is just too much, or at least leaves the relationship too open-ended and uncertain.  With cheating you fuck, have a good time, and go home to your respective partners.  In polyamory it is not so simple.  Something more could develop, and maybe that’s the scary part.

In the end I think it’s just the difference of what each gender generally is looking for: one looks to get laid, the other looks for something more.

Again, I’m not saying that every man or every woman is like this.  I’m simply stating the “many” and “most” scenarios that make-up general society.  Obviously I’m different, and if you’re reading this, you are too.

~ Lucius Scribbens

3 Comments

  1. You live out west, don’t you? Damn!

    I don’t think it’s just a married men thing, though, I think it’s just harder to find a woman (whether you’re male or female, believe me!) than it is to find a man.

    But is there anything wrong with wanting a relationship (with a little “r”) too? I agree that as a woman I find I’m much more selective about the men I sleep with than the women. Maybe it is because it’s so darned hard to find women at all, but I also agree that the ol’ Darwinian programming probably has much to do with it.

    • Chelle
    • Posted November 1, 2008 at 9:29 pm
    • Permalink

    Then there are us single/not so single women out in the world who quietly wait and wonder and hope….;) Waiting for her turn, wondering when she will get her turn, and hoping for a long-overdue opportunity.

    Alas…we may not be so different.

  2. Hey! I’m all for playing with the married men! I think the single ones are the ones that have their issues.

    I also had a recent conversation with a friend. He was talking about how HE needs a little emotional relationship with someone before they become play partners.


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