Comments on: Is wanting a threesome grounds for divorce?

By: Dave

Dave — Sat, 02 May 2009 05:45:08 +0000

I wanted a threesome for years and finally told my wife when she was drunk. She said okay, called a “girlfriend” at her office and invited her to bed with us that night. She said she’d been waiting for me to ask. We had a lovely time and were worn totally out by morning. This is now a special way we celebrate every so often…

By: Devyl

Devyl — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 06:17:24 +0000

There was a time in my life when being asked if I would go for a threesome in my current relationship would have sent me off my rocker in anger and insecurity.

However, I would not have allowed it to ruin the relationship. I eventually would have calmed down enough to discuss it properly.

Nowadays, it is something I am more open to, although it would take much discussing and proper planning, and it would only happen if I was completely sure my guy was faithful to me.

Any relationship that is not based on honesty and communication is doomed to fail … as is any relationship where the parties are not equally sexual when sex is important to at least one of those parties.

Great post, darlin.

By: Mollena Williams

Mollena Williams — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 04:58:08 +0000

I do grok mismatched levels when it comes to sexuality. I also grok that people change. What I don’t dig on is the men in the instances reflected above who partner with women and then magically discover that suddenly they are “prudish?” Really? You had no clue. Why not hash that out before making a lifelong commitment? How difficult is it to bring that up while you are in serious courtship mode? And it if “didn’t come up”? why blame the person who assumed the default for a monogamous relationship for wanting it to remain that way?

I’ve always been in poly situations where I knew full well where I and the other people involved stood. There weren’t surprises. And when the situation shifter, I did what was necessary to make it work. Often that meant someone in the mix moving on, or my removing myself.

But I get the feeling that a great deal of this is greed and insensitivity masking as a desire for “poly” when all these “men” wan is a fresh hole to fuck.

Isn’t polyamory about loving multiple people, not shagging as much as possible, wherever possible?

Peace

~Mollena

By: Rebecca - A Gentleman’s Companion » Blog Archive » Men & Threesomes

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 02:45:07 +0000

[...] second post comes from Bigger Love entitled “Is Wanting A Threesome Grounds For Divorce“. An excerpt: Yup, you read that right. Recently I read this exact question posted on an [...]

By: RebeccaDeos

RebeccaDeos — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 02:28:54 +0000

I think one of the big misconceptions of threesomes, swinging, and poly is that the physical act of being with another person is the most satisfying.

Most people, I feel, would answer that the most fulfilling part is the open communication and acceptance of one’s partner.
Sharing secrets and fantasies is a part of intimacy. It’s a shame how many women cut off open communication with their spouse, but then complain about a lack of intimacy.